It’s my birthday—Happy 56th to me! That number is what it is—loaded with wonder, disgust, hope, regret, promise, and a curated playlist. We all have birthdays, a personal day to ponder, pause, and turn the page. Happy Birthday on your day, too*.
The Luther Register also is pausing to ponder. Maybe you’ve noticed the articles dwindling, or maybe not. The reasons are an explosion of erratic words I cannot organize. The reality is financial. My hubby (how I love him so) has jokingly called it my expensive hobby. I always laughed with a determination to prove it not so. It sparked a determination to prove to everybody it was a business and a service. This entrepreneurial bundle could catch on, packaged as local community news (maybe with a FESTIVAL!) that would support itself and spread to the next town and the next. Maybe. Maybe not.
Sometimes, my “determination” is blind, ignorant stubbornness. Meanwhile, the hosting plan for the website is due soon. I’ve been stringing that along the last three quarters instead of paying for a year as I’ve done since 2016, costing a little more each time as this website has grown to a file monstrosity (much like my desktop and mind) and tangle of articles chronicling “news for our town.” I kept saying, “This next quarter, I’ll decide what to do.” As if more time was the answer.
Instead of deciding or streamlining on the backend of this website, I’ve used the time to ponder, walk, start yoga class, devour books in ear, screen, and page, indulge my podcast addiction, start a Walking Hype playlist (open for collaboration), cheer on my chaos garden of zinnias and ground cherries, clean, organize, paint, dread, and declutter my mind, bookshelves and under the sink (works in progress) with intentional calm. Practically, I’ve removed Facebook from my phone (and access it sparingly on the laptop), quit X and LinkedIn, upped the water intake, cut the carbs, aimed at 10,000 steps a day, and chose to make salad dressing instead of reaching for the bottle.
So, Dearest Readers, this is where I am. The physical act of opening this trusty laptop has been almost as heavy as clicking on the “new post” tab and wondering if the words would come. They woke me up this morning with a rare gift: a ready-made headline. That never happens. Headlines have always been as tricky for me as SEO, keywords, and reelz.
I’m going to ponder and pause. In the background, I’ll be working on the Luther Pecan Festival (11/16/24), which will soon appear on a new event platform (I still have sticker shock on that one). I love you dear, dear, dear, dear vendors and sponsors. We’ll be in touch soon. You can find me volunteering at the Arcadia Round Barn on Thursday afternoons. And tapping and scribbling out notes, notes, notes. And tomorrow, we’re going to the mountains for a bit.
*Ack. Am I self-absorbed or what? YUCK. Thanks for indulging, and I see you out there, too, wishing for a lazy river to float or woodsy trail with a secret patch of passion flowers, a new fresh notebook with clean pages and fresh pens, an easel, and a mat, a bubbly bath with Tiktok time, solving Wordle and Connections, logging Elevate points, breath, and a freaking break. Get into your warrior pose, fix your gaze, and as my yoga instructor Jimmi says, take what you need (including air!). For now, as Carter Sampson (love her!) wrote, Today Is Mine.
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Happy birthday, Dawn. It is good for all of us to pause and ponder. Praying that it gives you answers that will bring you back. Take care of yourself. I have just recently realized what that really means and how important it is.